Birth control. Some people consider this controversial, or whatever, and I don’t intend on persuading you all on going one way or another, but I have recently become (personally) enlightened. I started taking what is supposedly the lowest dosage of a prescribed oral contraceptive about 18 months ago. I was getting married soon & my skin had sucked since I was 12 and I have the greatest health insurance, so going on it wasn’t a hard choice. Other than giving me nausea every once in a blue moon, I (felt like I) responded to it fine.
Fast forward to about a month ago, I decided to go off of it for…reasons. #1 being my absolute disinterest in my husband. That was actually the only reason I (thought I) had for going off. My skin is awful now. The worst. However, I would take bad skin over going back on the pill any day.
Within weeks I realized how much better I felt. Not necessarily even better, it was just the fact that I felt. I realized that over my time on the pill it was slowly changing how I reacted to about everything in my life, too slow for me to catch onto. Hormonal doesn’t even cover it. I was unbelievably pessimistic, irritable, even suicidal (during the certain monthly lady time.) Which isn’t like me in the least. Normally I am am not phased when that time comes around. I actually tend to be happier. Anyway. Just last night, I was lying in bed next to Steven, arguing about something - something I would have been irate about just weeks ago, probably - and I thought to myself “I’m actually not even mad.” And then proceeded to just get over whatever it was. Which has happened a few times since going off. Having control over my emotions, and having the ability to trust my feelings makes it so much easier to communicate them to Steven. Handling myself above everything else has proven to be the best thing for every aspect of my world.
I’m not even sure why I’m writing this. I guess, what I’m trying to say is - I am elated to finally have my body back.
doing this. AGAIN.
i hope its not too late.
